Eliza Cummings Visual Tales
No hyperbole can explain the amount of sweat pouring off my body as I type this. Sometimes the only way to avoid this is to get naked! Eliza Cummings sure knows how to cool off. Like some of those “Where Are They Now?” shows about stars after their careers took a nosedive, I’ve been wondering where Eliza Cummings disappeared to. This editorial for Visual Tales magazine shows her in probably one of the most boring editorials of all time, but their website is cool, so I suggest you visit it. I know what you’re thinking: Kristen Stewart à la Joan Jett. Eerily similar, no? The world needs to give the tough girl look a rest. Especially when it was pioneered by this guy.






Inventory Magazine
The boys who helmed Inventory magazine have garnered local and international attention — attention well deserved. Attention for their attention to detail, their ability to stand at attention in the finest garments for the most reasonable prices, and a willingness to showcase artists and creatives worthy of attention. Have I got your attention yet? I visited their stockroom in Vancouver’s historic Gastown. I was very curious about the magazine and was asking one of the principals a lot of questions. He seemed really annoyed. Maybe I wasn’t worth his attention. I never bought an issue of the magazine, but he’s lucky it speaks for itself. On a single flip through I noticed how simply divine everything is on the inside. He may have been short with me, but not even his attitude could deter me from picking up a copy of this gem. Photos / HypebeastLady GaGa + Vanity Fair
So far the September covers that have leaked are a snoozefest. Lady Gaga’s Vanity Fair cover is the one that stands out the most as the most refreshing and beautiful. As usual, Nicola Formichetti was responsible for the styling, and Nick Knight (whom Gaga has worked with numerous times before) was the photographer, so Gaga should’ve been pretty comfortable on set. She’s got guts jumping in those Nina Ricci inspired shoes by Noritaka Tatehana. Although I love the video, I’m underwhelmed by the actual editorial. Nick could have done better creativity wise. Looks included pieces from Alexander McQueen, Armani Privé, and Noritaka Tatehana.





Back to School Model Pairs
It’s once again that time of year. Back to school. Is that chubby girl going to come back to school unrecognizably thin? Will that hot jock return as a lukewarm jock? Will Slutty Susan return in a relationship with Humble Harry? Is Karen really a lesbian? You’ve done all your back to school shopping. You’ve bought your pair of shape-ups and you’re looking fresh, for once. It’s time to grace the shallow-minded halls of grade school for another year, but not before you catch up on who’s who in your freshman year. Disclaimer: None of these are based in actual fact, and are not meant to hurt anybody’s feelings, especially the sensitive models themselves.


These two have had their eye on each other for quite some time. Calling them cultured is an understatement — they’re the pair who still don’t have cell phones in an effort to retain their exclusivity. However, they’ve finally hooked up via snail mail and are ready to turn a few heads in History class.


They hang out together so often you thought they were brother and sister. Sorry, sister, but this pair has come out of the proverbial closetus incestus. You can’t blame them, though, with their cherub-like good looks and naïveté. They were bound to hook up sooner than later, and you’re just happy it’s sooner. You saw it coming.


This one came way out of left field. Arthur was dating that bitch Stacy back in his previous hometown and his excuse for not dating was that he was “emotionally attached to somebody” but shrugged it off as not being long distance because he was “beyond labels”. Yeah, right. Figures the new girl would snag the guy that moved here. They have something in common, or so they tell me.


I had to look twice when I saw this girl walking down the hall hand in hand with Alex Dunstan. Her hair used to be halfway down her back and she would wear heavy black makeup and combat boots paired with her studded leather jacket that had non-conformist pins on it. My guess? She decided that the only way somebody would ever find her attractive would be to undergo drastic change. Well, it worked for her. Emo teen queen only changed her appearance because Alex took up guitar. Non-conformist my ass.


Long time coming. No explanation required. I don’t know how hard of a time Freja had convincing someone who spoke little English.


Why is it that two people whose names you have difficulty in pronouncing always end up lip locked? Everyone knows that when they look at each other they both feel like they’re looking in a mirror. They look like identical twins. No surprise that they hang out with Anabela & Benoni. These two dirtbags never change their clothes, so it’s only natural that they belong to the same bucket of grease. I secretly think it’s kind of cute.











